take a glimpse.

It’s a Monday again. 

I like the fact that I don’t have Monday blues. Work hasn’t been at all tiring or boring. Sure there were times when we literally had nothing to do for like 2 hours but hey, i’m not complaining about that! 

I realise I’m getting a bit critical of happenings and people around me. From the way people talk to how they dress, from their responses to certain topics or issues, how some inconsiderate people just refuse to keep left of the escalators in train stations, how people don’t take the initiative and always assuming someone else will do it eventually. Honestly, i’m more annoyed with the latter and in this case i’m talking about initiative. I definitely can’t say i’m a person who always volunteers to do things all the time and sometimes I can get a bit lazy. But when things need to be done, they have to be done. And the frustrating part is that no one seems to care or realise that somethings needs to be done. It’s either they are acting oblivious or they simply, “BO CHAP”. I always have to decide this, decide that. Why can’t we take turns? Are we too comfortable in our comfort zones that we always assume “someone else” is eventually going to do it? Or “since I have never been the one doing it so I shall not do it”? Even as I’m typing this, a few names surfaced.

Sometimes I always question why people can react or behave in a certain way, which after thinking about it logically and sensibly, their actions don’t seem to make sense at all. Some of them are quick to speak but slow to listen. I get irritated when they can comment on how their friends can be so sensitive but actually they themselves are too. I mean do they even stop for a while and think about what they’ve said? It’s hard to do so sometimes especially in this fast-paced society. I think “fast” is just an understatement. I’m no exception. There’s still a lot to learn from mistakes and really, may God help us to break through these walls. 

“Bite your tongue before your tongue bites others”.

So true. 

I’m starting to like combined cellgroup sessions.

Today’s session was led by Winston and the topic we discussed on one of the seven spiritual deadly sins - Sloth. It’s funny how every time that word comes up an image of that animal pops up too. 

The bible verses covered were so literature-like that if I were to quote them to you, you wouldn’t even guess it’s from the bible. Quite a bit of imagery and metaphors were used and I guess that’s how God speaks to us, straight to our very own hearts. The way Winston broke down the verses for us into bite-size parts was absolutely captivating because all the thought processes that went into it were succinct. There were definitely doubts cleared in the process of studying the aspect of Sloth, and how it’s actually more of a vice than a sin. It was pretty scary actually when I reflected about how my life so far kind of resembled a bit of the sluggard mentioned in Proverbs 24. Sluggard does not necessarily mean the person is lazy, but he/she can also be busy but in the end, he/she ends up nowhere. That struck me the most because we can be so caught up with our daily activities, busy doing this and that, but at the end, it’s just an empty void which we keep on filling up and it fades away time and time again. 

I’ve always wanted to put my old self away and begin on a new page but it’s so hard to start. I can’t seem to be able to find that motivation to do so. All those talk about quiet time, spending time alone with God just for a short 5 minutes almost came to nothing. A lot of things have been going through my mind ever since the start of this year but I haven’t really been able to surrender them to God totally. Sometimes I even forget that I do have a God that I could pour out my troubles to. It’s so difficult to keep God on your mind for all 7 days a week. 

Today’s session really spoke to me, and I felt so strongly that God was reprimanding me in a way today. Because I have asked a couple of times why have I been feeling like this, the monotony of life and a stagnant spiritual life and finally God’s word pierced right through like a sword. It was sort of a gentle warning. 

I’m really looking forward to more sessions like this and i’m hoping my fellow cell members do too. 

GLEE - Regionals “Get It Right” 

What have I done? I wish I could
Away from this ship goin’ under
Just tryin’ to help, hurt everyone
Now I feel the weight of the world is
On my shoulders

What can you do when your good isn’t good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
‘Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow

But how many it times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
To get it ri-igh-ight

Can I start again with my faith shaken?
‘Cause I can’t go back and undo this
I just have to stay and face my mistakes
But if I get stronger and wiser
I’ll get through this

TA. Where I grew up all my life. 

It was 1.15am when I had the sudden urge to go back to blogging. Don’t ask me how and don’t ask me why. Perhaps I just needed another avenue to pen down my feelings, thoughts, emotions and ramblings. 

I’ve had 2 blogs before of which the first one was maintained for over close to 3 years, and that was mostly written during my JC days. The blog still exists and I’ve had quite a fun time reading some of my old posts, of which 90% of them are studies/exams-related. Mugger indeed. Then I met Tumblr. The modern and sleek designs of Tumblr blogs first caught my eye. But that didn’t last long because I wasn’t really motivated to update every single thing which happened in my life. Hmm, or should I say nothing was really happening in my life? FB & Twitter soon took over my world of social networking and I was practically ranting away almost every hour and every minute. 

Well, I would say this would be quite a good opportunity to start writing good English, start watching for grammar mistakes and translate my thoughts on certain issues weighing on my mind into words, because yours sincerely will soon be taking the QET (Qualifying English Test) in NUS cum August this year. Oh don’t even start. 

It’s 1.37am and I’m glad it’s a Saturday tomorrow and finally I don’t have to be up early for work or for the Jalan Kukoh Ministry. Hopefully I would be able to sleep till lunch but it seems as if I haven’t been able to achieve that. My body’s a natural alarm clock.

Alright, the fatigue’s kicking in. Time to head to bed. Hopefully this post won’t be the last. Haha.